Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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