oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
foreskin is a definite game changer
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize