Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
