I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
