i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
