Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
