I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
