who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
