Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
