Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize