actually, I'm a sock model
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
