Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
So much rum. So many feels.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
