well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
