I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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