I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
