Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize
