In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
