$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I will be naked everywhere
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Randomize
