All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
