ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
