The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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