it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize