glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I have demons in me.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
So. Much. Porn.
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