next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
