life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize