apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
