Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
im six kinds of drunk right now
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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