Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize