i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
