I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
