No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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