Tell her she can't have a vagina
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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