Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
