I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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