you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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