So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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