I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
A bitchslap is in order.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
