i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
