Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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