What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
