Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
