But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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