Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
We left the knife in your bed.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
