I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I can't turn off my feet"
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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