Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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