I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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