I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
