WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
how does that bad decision feel?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
