Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
My ATM looks so different sober.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize