batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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