I'm drive I can fine osifer
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
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