the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
