I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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