I wish life had little blips of pornography
he told me I talked like a deaf person
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
