Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
