Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
