she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
When did angry sex become our thing?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
