If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize