Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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