I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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